Watch Your Manners (and Mind Your Mouth!)
by Cumberbatch Critter
Summary: The Personal Blog of Dr John H. Watson 26 May Sherlock Holmes may be a genius, but yet, he doesn't understand how to eat a lollipop. [Read more...]


**Watch Your Manners (and Mind Your Mouth!)**

Maybe it was a bad idea to put a lollipop in Sherlock's mouth, but the detective's blood sugar had to be at a point where John was _sure_ that he would pass out soon if he didn't get some sugar into his system.

To be fair, John had tried to give it to Sherlock, to put it into his hand, but Sherlock just had scowled and practically threw it aside. He hadn't noticed at first, to be honest, but then he reached for his microscope and found a lolly in his hand and then the scowl and the _"I don't have time for this rubbish, John!"_ had come.

So, John in annoyance, grabbed the lolly and jabbed it against Sherlock's pursed lips.

Sherlock looked up at him, sparing a half second of his time to communicate with his eyes the nature of his surprise.

John knew that he wasn't usually so forward... He usually just put a piece of toast in Sherlock's hand when he was sure that he was so blinded by the observation of an experiment that he wouldn't notice he was eating, but he was frustrated with Sherlock's lack of cooperation and terrible-smelling experiments. So it was time to take a step forward.

"Open," John said sternly, feeling ridiculously like he was talking to a toddler.

Sherlock must have been thinking the same thing, because he arched an eyebrow. John knew that the experiment was drawing him back in, but he was still surprised when Sherlock actually parted his lips enough for the lolly.

"Thank you," John muttered, turning away. He flopped back into his chair and yawned widely, reaching for the newspaper.

Barely ten minutes went by before John looked up again. Not because of Sherlock's experiments or anything, but... the lollipop.

Both of Sherlock's hands were occupied with the experiment at this point- one on the microscope and one on a pencil with a notepad- but the lollipop stick was moving about, meaning that Sherlock was licking at the lollipop within the cavern of his mouth. Which wouldn't be a bad thing if he wasn't making _stupidly_ obscene noises.

"... Sherlock," John muttered, sighing.

Sherlock didn't look up, but grunted a "hm?" in response. It was followed by a sharp slurp and Sherlock's tongue flicked over his lips briefly.

"Do you mind?"

"Mind what?" Sherlock's voice was muffled by the fact that he had a lolly in his mouth.

"Not making slopping noises with your tongue," John said dryly.

"_You're_ the one who gave it to me," Sherlock retorted.

"For you to have some sugar, not for you to practice Frenching on."

"Crude," Sherlock retorted, dropping his pencil to pull the lollipop out of his mouth with an audible pop.

"You're the one being crude with your _mouth_," John said.

"There's a lollipop in my mouth. That fact alone makes it obvious that my salivation level is going to go up." Sherlock licked his lips. His tongue was stained dark red from the peppermint red colouring. "Pavlov's response, John." He frowned, looking down at the lollipop. "It's turned brown."

John sighed. "It's a chocolate chew."

Sherlock's frown grew more prominent. "There's a chocolate chew in the middle of a lollipop. A peppermint lollipop. ... Why?"

"I don't know, Sherlock." He rolled his eyes. "Why does ice cream cake have ice cream on the middle?"

"Simple. Because it's an ice cream cake." Sherlock popped the lolly back into his mouth. "Obv'ously."

John just shook his head and tried to tune out Sherlock's presence in the kitchen. It worked fairly well... until a loud crunch from the kitchen drew John's attention back to the detective. Sherlock, it appeared, had gotten overzealous and crunched down on the last of the lollipop shell.

Another few loud crunches ensued- Sherlock seemed oblivious, he was glued to the microscope again- and then the detective licked his lips yet again.

John sighed.

Three hours later, John had just poured himself a cup of chamomile to take up to his bedroom before falling asleep, when he turned to Sherlock.

And paused, because the detective hadn't moved and he still had the lollipop stick protruding from his lips.

"Sherlock?"

Sherlock didn't respond and John leaned over, yanking the compressed paper from in between Sherlock's lips. "Sherlock, don't eat the stick!"

The entire end of the lollipop stick had been completely chewed into a distortion that made it _not_ look like a lollipop stick anymore.

"Sherlock!"

Sherlock glanced up. "Huh?"

"You... _mauled_ the lollipop stick!" John held up the remains of it. "You couldn't be arsed to, I don't know, bin it?"

Sherlock blinked. "It was malleable, so I continued to chew on it."

John sighed and tossed it, rubbing his eyes. "Do you want some gum or something?"

Sherlock frowned. "Why would I want gum?"

John just sighed (again) and headed for the hall.

"Goodnight," he said bluntly, feeling exasperated enough to turn the kitchen light off on the way out.

He was halfway up the stairs before Sherlock seemed to notice.

"John!"

John simply rolled his eyes and sipped at his tea.

* * *

**Because I can take the most random things and make it a story. :)**

**Note for the avid followers: Yes, I know, I'm not working on a Christmas advent this year. I'm sorry. But there's something special planned, so hang around and keep your eyes peeled.**

**I do not own _Sherlock_. Thank you!**


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